Angry Feelings: Expression or Explosion!

Anger is one of the most difficult emotions for many people to manage. Some individuals feel that they cannot express their anger without creating even worse problems. Others cannot control their angry outbursts and "fly off the handle" when they feel provoked. Many people feel guilty or ashamed by being angry, despite its being a normal and often functional emotion. There are, however, constructive ways of dealing with anger.

Anger generally results from our feeling helpless or unable to control certain situations. We feel as if we are trapped by circumstances and see no way out. It is thought that anger and depression are opposite sides of the same coin, depression being unexpressed anger that is turned inward. Often a good approach for dealing with both depression and anger is to learn to express the energy in a positive way.

The first step in dealing with anger is realizing that you are angry. One way to detect anger is to pay attention to your body. Your muscles will begin to tense, your heart will start to race, and you will feel an increase in energy. This is often known as the "fight or flight" response. At this point, you feel ready to take action. Other ways of expressing "hidden" anger are sarcastic or hostile speech, interpersonal problems, feelings of frustration and tension, and accident-proneness.

Determining what has caused the anger is the second step in dealing with it. It is helpful to be as specific as possible as to who or what has led you to the angry state. Blaming the world in general does not help in trying to resolve the problem. Sometimes the person responsible for such problems is you. When you are the source of the problem situation, it is important to take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge any mistakes you have made.

The final step in dealing with anger involves taking action to resolve the situation. One important decision at this point is to determine whether you should express your anger or not. Constructive expressions of anger can lead to better performance and successful bargaining.

In some instances, however, expression of anger is not possible or will make the problem worse. It is not wise to allow the anger to build up inside without some release; many health problems can be traced to repressed anger. At these times, it is helpful to step back from the problem, regain your control, and find an alternative outlet for the energy generated by the anger. Exercise, creative pursuits, and hobbies are all productive energy releases. Active relaxation techniques, such as meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga are also helpful. Humor is also a good method for defusing angry feelings whe you are in conflict with another person.

If anger becomes uncontrollable, or if you have trouble in expressing these feelings constructively, it may be helpful to talk with a counselor about your trouble dealing with anger. Counselors are available at the following campus locations:

• University Counseling Center -- 4th Floor, Susquehanna Hall -- 3301-314-7651
• Mental Health Services -- Health Center -- 301-314-8106
• HELP Center (telephone hotline) -- 301-314-HELP

The author, Dr. Jonathan Kandell, is a Psychologist and Assistant Director
at the University Counseling Center.